This morning, I came across this excerpt, that resonated with me, from Rupi Kaur’s poetry anthology Milk and Honey.
I’ve spent extra time today quietly reflecting on the women in my life who have raised me, taught me, inspired me, challenged me, and made me better. I’ve thought about the feminists who call me to act and my fellow nasty women who won’t stop fighting. I’ve thought about the countless times I’ve personally been made to feel ashamed as a woman and how I’m proud that I no longer allow this type of treatment. I’ve considered how I can be the best aunt to my niece and help her to grow up to feel limitless. I’ve also thought about the men in my life who proudly call themselves feminists, support me, and don’t ask me to apologize for the independence that is such a huge part of my being. I am so fortunate to be surrounded by so many humans who embrace the same ideals as I do. My support system stretches far and is filled with wonderful women and men who stand up and fight injustice in their own ways.
As I reflect today on others, I’m also reminded of my own strength. I’ve come a long way. I will always be finding my voice, but I’m learning to accept empowerment and use it to be heard. This is the role model I want to be for young women – someone who can be generous, kind, and caring, while being equally fierce, independent, and courageous.
I want to be a woman who can drown oceans, but leave no disaster in her wake.
My goal was to share writing once a week. I did a good job accomplishing this in January, but then came February. My month has been insane. With traveling back and forth across the state to facilitate PD and do coaching, I’ve had very little time to even breathe. Last week I got back from OETC’s iPDX conference in Portland. I dragged myself in from a late flight last Saturday, took my suitcase to my bedroom and realized that I still had two other suitcases packed from previous travel this month. This is the metaphor of how my February has been – it has literally come and gone.
So instead of a normal post referencing articles and education issues, I’m going to share one thing I read this month that has really made me think, reflect, and feel inspired to act.
On February 9th, I came across an article in my Twitter feed entitled, “Ten year old applies to be Cambridge professor of Lego.” Instantly, I was intrigued. Hoping that it wasn’t just click-bait, I went to the site and began reading. It’s short and you should read it yourself, so I won’t summarize it, but I will say that I was left feeling very inspired. The article served its purpose, to give me all the feels, but it also made me reflect on how we (educators) are in a position daily to inspire our students to reach for whatever dreams they can imagine.
Here are a few of my takeaways and questions after reading:
What if we were able to inspire all students to engage in making their dreams reality?
What would this look like in our classrooms/schools? How would this effect school culture and how the community views what we do? What would this mean for our communities?
How can we give students more opportunities to not just be engaged, or learn, but to be inspired?
This makes me think about the fact that engagement doesn’t ensure that students are actually learning anything at all. How do we tell the difference between compliant engagement and true learning?
Why are we afraid to foster environments that allow students to fulfill their dreams?
Working with 3rd graders has been eye opening – they jump right in, they take risks, they aren’t afraid of failure because it’s not failure to them, it’s more like a speed bump, the have very few inhibitions. Why doesn’t this happen more often, especially for older students?
What about leadership capacity? How are we constructing and designing opportunities for students to explore their capacity as leaders? Does what we do in our classrooms help students to see themselves as leaders? If not, what can we do to fix this problem?
Words are important to me – there is so much power in what we chose to say and how we decide to say it. I agonize over words, whether I’m writing a book review or a thank you card to a friend, and often create multiple drafts to make sure I get it just right. In short, as much as I love words, I often have a hard time using them to express myself. I write a lot, more than anyone would know because I don’t often share it. I’ve tried blogging, but it has always felt forced. So, I’ve just settled for writing for myself as a way to reflect and react to things.
In September, I was offered a position at The Friday Institute at NC State. This is the kind of job that I’ve dreamt about – doing work that is both impactful and fulfilling, working with people all over. When I accepted the position, so many things in my life changed. In over the course of one month, I left a school that I love, said goodbye to some of my favorite colleagues and students who I will always hold dear and moved from Norfolk, VA to Raleigh, NC. With my life turning upside down, I made a commitment to myself to document this journey by capturing my thoughts as often as I could. I didn’t want to forget any part of it.
In addition to writing about the work I’ve been able to witness and be a part of, I have been writing about all of the kindness, support and inspiration my new colleagues have offered me. Like I said, I don’t want to forget any part of this thing. This reflection came in handy during the holidays as I wrote each of my colleagues a very personalized holiday card saying thank you for all of the things they have done for me to welcome me to the team. The words just felt necessary.
When I think about words, I am reminded of one of my newest obsessions. A good friend introduced me to West Wing – why I never watched this show when it originally aired is a mystery to me. I was immediately entranced. The dialogue literally leaves me floored, because, well, words. These characters speak with so much eloquence and passion, and I’m left wishing I could say it that way. I know they’re fictional, but I’m envious because again, I love words.
As 2016 started to come to a close, I looked back on the writing I had done for the past few months. It was purely for reflection – I wanted to try to remember the opportunities I’ve had so far at FI, how I’ve worked with other members of the team and reactions to articles and books I’ve been reading recently. My first thought was that I had successfully created an organized set of ramblings. But then something hit me, a thread that I noticed running through what I wrote – almost as important as the words we chose to share, is the absence of words; what we don’t share. Even in my case, when I’m only sharing with myself.
This wasn’t a lightbulb moment, exactly, but it did help me realize something about myself. I am a rule follower, an organizer, a helper, a fixer. If you need a situation over-analyzed, I’m your girl. Unfortunately, this often leaves me quiet in situations where I should use my voice (words). Sure I have documented things I’ve been able to do and experience, but I am not sure I’m saying the things about them that I believe and know. Part of this is probably due to the fact that I’m only writing for myself – since I know no one else will ever see this, why bother actually being reflective.
Then I read this article from Harvard Business Review about setting goals that we are actually invested in and care about. Saunders discusses the idea of shifting our thinking from should do’s – things that we believe we are supposed to be focusing on for professional growth, to must do’s – things that really matter to us. I am no longer required to do a Professional Development Plan for the state, but I am a lifelong learner and value growth and my opportunity for it through the work I am so lucky to get to do. I’m not a new year’s resolutions kind of person, since so often these become things we obsess over for a week and then forget about when life actually happens, but I do set goals. In considering, as Saunders suggests, my must do’s, I am brought back to the importance of words, and in my case, pushing myself to share them.
I want to focus more on sharing my own words, whether that means writing about the amazing learning and coaching experiences my position at FI affords me or my thoughts on education, our world, or what I’m reading and how it applies. I also want to challenge myself to think about sharing my words as it deals with the relationships I have with people around me. Oftentimes, I leave things unsaid out of fear of mis-articulating what I mean, not sounding intelligent enough or well read enough or simply saying too much.
Words matter to me, and sharing them is becoming a must do, so I am committing to articulating these things and putting them out there. I’m lucky to be surrounded by amazing colleagues; people who share their words with little to no apology and write eloquent and passion filled things for others to read. These people are my inspiration to bite the bullet and do things that make me uncomfortable – like learning how to build out my very first professional website as a platform for sharing. It is my hope that my words will not only help me to be more reflective, grow professionally and take better advantage of the opportunities afforded me, but they will also go a long way in helping me build and foster deeper relationships with the people around me.
