Month: July 2017

Victory

How is success measured? Is it accolades? Being thanked for my service? Being given credit for what I create? Or is it the impact my work has on those who I serve? And, possibly, the ability to leave a place and have that work continue, even in my absence?

I work with an administrator who always talks about “small wins.” At one point, this past school year, he was having a hard time with the pressure the district leadership was putting on him to show success. No amount of growth seemed to be enough. In talking, he told me, “I just need some small wins.” It’s hard to look a passionate educator in the eyes and see the strain that this type of pressure can put on him. Especially since he’s providing fabulous opportunities for his students and staff. I asked him what he considered a small win. What took me by surprise, is that nowhere in our conversation did he ever associate the word win with himself. Everything about winning and success, to him, is about the work he’s doing and the opportunities he’s providing for his students and staff.

His victory is less about self and more about the work.

It is so easy to make victory synonymous with self. The idea of success is oftentimes too focused on us, while what creates lasting impact is the work we design and share. This work should sustain and continue even when I am taken out of the picture. It is so nice to have people like me and to know that I’ve made them feel good – but success is measured best when they are excited and empowered by the work; the things we’ve designed together and the products and experiences that they’ve created.

A recent post from The Story of Telling challenges us to redefine greatness.

…it’s possible for us as individuals to redefine greatness by changing how we measure success—by replacing our winner-takes-all worldview with one that requires us to question if we’re doing work we’re proud of. We each get to choose what it means to be great again. Moment-to-moment and day-by-day we can deliberately decide only to do the things we’ll be proud to have done and to create the future we want to see.

As the upcoming school year approaches, I would like to focus less on me and more on the work that I’m designing for the people I serve. As my friend Darren challenges in his latest newsletter (which you should 100% sign up for):

Where do you want your leaders/educators/students to go so they can feel:
engaged?
challenged?
inspired?
intelligent?
empowered?

Questions I will be considering as I continue to dive into work:

  • Are you doing/designing/creating work you’re proud of?
  • How is your work (not you) impacting the future, building something, and empowering others?

As the summer comes to a close and you begin to think about your students, colleagues, and the experience you will design for them, I hope you will remember to reflect on your measures of success. Take your small wins where you can and try to leave the people and places you touch better than when you found them.

I believe in your ability to affect change.

I believe in your purpose to design sustaining experiences for others.

I believe in your victory.

Incredible

“You’re incredible,” he said, “even though you might not always believe it.”

One statement. Ten words. So much power.

When I read this, my immediate reaction was to say thank you – followed by a “you’re too kind” or “I don’t know about that.” Why is it that this type of commendation is often so difficult for us to hear and accept? Even when we’re proud of our work, our progress, our growth, we struggle to find ourselves incredible. It’s always easier to focus on our failings or what we haven’t yet accomplished.

I’m not sure what is to blame for this culture. Maybe it’s the direct effect of the comparative practice trap that much of social media can instigate. Maybe it’s the sheer amount of edu-famousness that is taking over Twitter – the rise of the edu-heroes. Maybe it’s the lack of attention we give to daily or weekly reflection of our growth and our wins. Maybe it’s work environment – being surrounded by brilliance and seeing this as competition as opposed to inspiration.

In a recent article for 99U, Dr. Christian Jarrett warns of the dangers of being too hard on yourself. He counters the idea that believing in yourself – showing yourself respect and kindness – is self-indulgent. Rather, this is what is coined “self-compassion.”

People high in self-compassion are honest about their own shortcomings and contribution to failure, but they don’t beat themselves up for it. Rather, they comfort themselves, they recognize failure and mistakes as part of life, and they see the situation as a chance to grow.

When I read this, I immediately recognized my reaction to being called incredible. Instead of simply being honored that this person (who I greatly admire) values me and sees my potential, I began creating excuses in my head for why I’m not incredible – beating myself up for what I view as my failings and shortcomings. I also realized that this is neither healthy nor productive.

The friend I mentioned before went on to remind me to continue making my dent in the universe. Isn’t that an amazing thought!? Our work, passion, dedication, and action all come together to form our dent – however large or small it may be.

This is what I want to do. I want to create the time and space to be kind to myself, to be honest about my failings, but to recognize that these are merely a chance to learn and grow. I want to do what Gandhi meant when he said,

In a gentle way, you can shake the world.

And most importantly, I want to help create an environment (and maybe even a culture) where others become more self-compassionate. Imagine how big our collective dent will be when we all start realizing and believing just how incredible we are.

And to my friend, who will always have a special place in my heart, thank you.