Tavia – Page 7 – Tavia Clark

Before joining The Friday Institute, my experience with coaching was limited – or so I thought. As a classroom teacher, I rarely saw myself as a coach to anyone. It was all I could do to keep up with my own thoughts and ideas for designing amazing learning experiences for my kids. When I moved into the school library, my position afforded me the opportunity to work more closely with classroom teachers, pushing me into a role that made me feel more like an instructional coach. While my colleagues earnestly sought my help and eagerly collaborated with me, I was missing the point of being a coach. I viewed coaching as solving people’s problems – leading them to an answer.

Then I was selected to be a part of the second cohort of the NC Digital Leaders Coaching Network. When I began my journey with NCDLCN, I had no idea that a year later I’d be working at FI, facilitating the very experiences I was participating in. NCDLCN helped me to gain a deeper understanding for coaching – not just what a coach is, but the actual act of coaching someone. I left the cohort in June realizing that coaching is participatory, not just for the teacher, but for the coach as well. More than solving problems, a coach helps someone find new understandings about him or herself, and in the case of education, transform teaching and learning as a result of this.

“The art of coaching is doing, thinking, and being: doing a set of actions, holding a set of beliefs, and being in a way that results in those actions leading to change. These are the three things that can make coaching transformational.” (Aguilar, 2013, Location No. 848).

In her book, The Art of Coaching: Effective Strategies for School Transformation, Aguilar stresses that coaching leads to transformation. My idea of coaching has redefined itself – my new reality (and the experiences it has afforded me) has led to deeper understanding. Coaching is not evaluative. It is not fixing someone or simply solving a problem. This is very one sided and not often participatory. Coaching is about building relationships, which are vital. And while listening is important and oftentimes necessary, true coaching focuses on teaching and learning, considering what’s best for kids and transforming pedagogy in order to lead to transformation.

A few weeks ago, I read a post by Seth Godin about shared reality and goals. He asserts that in order to get buy in (which is important with any coaching experience), you must be able to sell what you’re actually selling. In order to do this, all parties must agree on the goals, the reality and the measurement. After reading this super short post, I immediately thought about my experiences with coaching, especially those that I’ve recently had through my work at FI.

The Goals
In November, I “met” three teachers who I will be coaching this school year. I spent time contacting them to begin to build a relationship that I hoped would make the coaching process more beneficial. Through a Google Hangout video call, I introduced myself to each of them and explained what the coaching process is in relation to their district vision and mission. And then, I asked each of them about their goals – the things they felt passionately about for their kids and their classroom. Once they were done sharing their goals, I asked them what opportunities they currently have that would further facilitate that transformation? I was amazed by their reflections. Our conversation could have easily focused on outputs – simply what they will do, but through a few simple questions, we moved to outcomes – the difference that they want to make.

The Reality
In coaching, it is so important that their is shared understanding of the reality. Facts are in the evidence, so it’s vital to be able to have a clear understanding of what’s really going on. In building relationships with these three teachers, I simply asked about their reality – prior to stepping foot in their classrooms. I need context, I need to understand what they’re up against everyday and the struggles that they face. And all of this needs to happen before I can start helping them toward their ultimate goal – transforming teaching and learning in their classrooms. In my case, I get very limited time with each of these teachers, so shared reality becomes that much more important.

The Measurement
When working with these teachers, my goal has been to have them define success and for us to work together to get there. After discussing their goals, I asked each of them to define what they think success would look like in relation to that goal. Coaching should be non evaluative, which means it’s important that they participate fully in the idea of measuring success. These conversations will evolve over time as I am able to offer more actionable feedback.

Without a doubt, I am still learning and growing as a coach. But one thing remains, there’s nothing quite like being a tiny part of someone’s journey of transforming teaching in learning for her students.

Aguilar, E. (2013). The Art of Coaching: Effective Strategies for School Transformation [Kindle Version]. Retreived from Amazon.com.

Godin, S. (2016, December 28). Shared Reality, Shared Goals [blog post]. Retrieved from http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2016/12/shared-reality-shared-goals.html

Words are important to me – there is so much power in what we chose to say and how we decide to say it. I agonize over words, whether I’m writing a book review or a thank you card to a friend, and often create multiple drafts to make sure I get it just right. In short, as much as I love words, I often have a hard time using them to express myself. I write a lot, more than anyone would know because I don’t often share it. I’ve tried blogging, but it has always felt forced. So, I’ve just settled for writing for myself as a way to reflect and react to things.

In September, I was offered a position at The Friday Institute at NC State. This is the kind of job that I’ve dreamt about – doing work that is both impactful and fulfilling, working with people all over. When I accepted the position, so many things in my life changed. In over the course of one month, I left a school that I love, said goodbye to some of my favorite colleagues and students who I will always hold dear and moved from Norfolk, VA to Raleigh, NC. With my life turning upside down, I made a commitment to myself to document this journey by capturing my thoughts as often as I could. I didn’t want to forget any part of it.

In addition to writing about the work I’ve been able to witness and be a part of, I have been writing about all of the kindness, support and inspiration my new colleagues have offered me. Like I said, I don’t want to forget any part of this thing. This reflection came in handy during the holidays as I wrote each of my colleagues a very personalized holiday card saying thank you for all of the things they have done for me to welcome me to the team. The words just felt necessary.

When I think about words, I am reminded of one of my newest obsessions. A good friend introduced me to West Wing – why I never watched this show when it originally aired is a mystery to me. I was immediately entranced. The dialogue literally leaves me floored, because, well, words. These characters speak with so much eloquence and passion, and I’m left wishing I could say it that way. I know they’re fictional, but I’m envious because again, I love words.

As 2016 started to come to a close, I looked back on the writing I had done for the past few months. It was purely for reflection – I wanted to try to remember the opportunities I’ve had so far at FI, how I’ve worked with other members of the team and reactions to articles and books I’ve been reading recently. My first thought was that I had successfully created an organized set of ramblings. But then something hit me, a thread that I noticed running through what I wrote – almost as important as the words we chose to share, is the absence of words; what we don’t share. Even in my case, when I’m only sharing with myself.

This wasn’t a lightbulb moment, exactly, but it did help me realize something about myself. I am a rule follower, an organizer, a helper, a fixer. If you need a situation over-analyzed, I’m your girl. Unfortunately, this often leaves me quiet in situations where I should use my voice (words). Sure I have documented things I’ve been able to do and experience, but I am not sure I’m saying the things about them that I believe and know. Part of this is probably due to the fact that I’m only writing for myself – since I know no one else will ever see this, why bother actually being reflective.

Then I read this article from Harvard Business Review about setting goals that we are actually invested in and care about. Saunders discusses the idea of shifting our thinking from should do’s – things that we believe we are supposed to be focusing on for professional growth, to must do’s – things that really matter to us. I am no longer required to do a Professional Development Plan for the state, but I am a lifelong learner and value growth and my opportunity for it through the work I am so lucky to get to do. I’m not a new year’s resolutions kind of person, since so often these become things we obsess over for a week and then forget about when life actually happens, but I do set goals. In considering, as Saunders suggests, my must do’s, I am brought back to the importance of words, and in my case, pushing myself to share them.

I want to focus more on sharing my own words, whether that means writing about the amazing learning and coaching experiences my position at FI affords me or my thoughts on education, our world, or what I’m reading and how it applies. I also want to challenge myself to think about sharing my words as it deals with the relationships I have with people around me. Oftentimes, I leave things unsaid out of fear of mis-articulating what I mean, not sounding intelligent enough or well read enough or simply saying too much.

Words matter to me, and sharing them is becoming a must do, so I am committing to articulating these things and putting them out there. I’m lucky to be surrounded by amazing colleagues; people who share their words with little to no apology and write eloquent and passion filled things for others to read. These people are my inspiration to bite the bullet and do things that make me uncomfortable – like learning how to build out my very first professional website as a platform for sharing. It is my hope that my words will not only help me to be more reflective, grow professionally and take better advantage of the opportunities afforded me, but they will also go a long way in helping me build and foster deeper relationships with the people around me.