A few months ago, I attended the funeral of one of my former students who took her own life. The longer you teach, the more you will encounter loss, but this loss hit me hard. Sitting at her funeral, the enormity of the epidemic hit me. We live in a society where dangerous stigmas regarding mental health permeate our culture. Mental wellness is not something that most people want to talk about – until, we unfortunately, have a tragic reason to do so.
Educators are in a particularly unique position. We are called to nurture and teach students who are angry, sad, heartbroken, neglected, hurt, forgotten. We wear the weight of all of their suffering on our shoulders, while, at the same time, the responsibility to teach them and prepare them for whatever comes next. It’s obvious how this can take a toll on someone. In the past week, I’ve received multiple messages from fellow educators about how they are empty, burnt out, and at the end of their ropes – all for different reasons. Whether it’s battling parents who won’t listen, juggling intentional practice with district level pressure, feeling like they’ve hit a plateau in their practice, or just simply the devastating reality of the state of our nation’s political climate, the effects that all of this can have on a person’s mental health can be treacherous.
I am no stranger to the effects that career pressures can have on a person. I wrote a little about it last month as I reflected on how much my life has changed since October. Oftentimes, when we are very busy, we don’t slow down enough to really contemplate how what we do affects us internally. It’s when we finally have the time to take a breath that we can feel that weight, all at once, bearing down on us. And this mental stress manifests itself in very different ways. Some of us get angry, some shut down, some run away, some push it down and compartmentalize it, some remain numb, and others become consumed by it.
Here are a few things I’m trying as I become more mindful of self-care.
Find someone (or a few people) who you trust that you can talk to.
Whether you talk to your significant other, a family member, a colleague, best friend, or even a professional, releasing your feelings in this way can help you heal, grow, and move on. Sometimes we have to lean into struggle while we lean on others for support.
Own your vulnerability.
This is a hard one, but admitting that it’s okay to not feel okay is important. We’re human, we can only take so much before we need a release. This looks different for everyone, but whatever your release is, don’t be ashamed of it. Own it and remember it’s what you need.
Be more present in the world.
I take time, almost daily, to be outside. Whether I’m hiking, running, sitting by the pool, or reading a book on my balcony, I try to power off and detach myself from screens so that I can just be present in the world around me. It isn’t always easy to get rid of distractions, but when you can, use this time to take notice of the things you usually miss. Just be.
Lose the “what else” mindset.
You can read more about this here. It’s not easy, especially if you’re a Type A personality, but thinking about what enough means to you can go a long way in helping you to feel more at ease with yourself, your effort, your contribution.
Find at least one thing that you can do just for you.
Maybe it’s a hobby, a crafting class (like the one I recently took – stitching and mimosas), yoga, rock climbing, shopping, reading and actually finishing a book, a long bath with wine, writing, or in my case, diving into the world of coding and web development. It doesn’t matter what your thing is, what matters is that you choose it for yourself and make it all about you.
Slow down, take time for yourself, create a “do not do” list, remove toxicity from your life (as much as you can), and lean on people who love you. You’re important, as is your contribution. The world needs it.